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AutorenbildJosephine S

Justin's Case/ Story

Aktualisiert: 11. Aug. 2023


During my childhood I attended private Catholic schools and subsequently became a victim of childhood abuse. This occurred at an early age and the moral weight fell from my abuser and landed upon my shoulders. I've been forced to carry this horrific mass throughout my life and I swore myself to secrecy.

 

In 2007 my mother passed away unexpectedly and in 2013 I lost my father. The dark secret I carried, the hidden resentment towards my family for not protecting me which I now know is not their fault, the fear of not being believed or being blamed for its causation, the trouble it would cause, the humiliation... I lost my chance to tell them. The most important relationships in my life suffered. This entire nexus dramatically altered my perspective.

 

I never planned to share this with anyone, yet now I'm forced to tell my story and relive the memories. This is because I have a deep seeded resentment towards abuse and oppression due to my experience. I've developed hypersensitivity, anxiety, and PTSD. This is all relevant to what led to my incarceration.

 

The following is in my own words. Some information was communicated to me personally. First names have been withheld  out of respect for privacy.

 

In September 2016 I dated a girl named Cooper who had previously been in an abusive relationship with her ex fiancé, Gauthier. She expressed to me that she and her 2 children experienced verbal abuse and physical violence. I watched a video on her phone that showed Gauthier calling her profanities and throwing things at her as well as listened to disturbing voice mails left by him. One assault ultimately led to their separation when Gauthier almost caused her to crash her vehicle while driving with 4 children in the back. When she moved she had to leave her dog behind so Gauthier purposely starved her dog to force Cooper to come to his home just so he could see her. Cooper also told me that she was concerned that Gauthier may have been sexually abusing one of his daughters. All of this struck me personally and I could sympathize for all of them.

 

Cooper kept on relationship a secret from Gauthier due to his possessiveness until he was able to gain access to her Facebook account. She took down all of our photos together and my posts out of fear. Not long after this Cooper disappeared from communication after telling me she had to visit Gauthier's home. I feared for her safety and went looking for her.

 

When I went to his home, he attacked me when I inquired about Cooper's safety. I drew a handgun in self-defense and Cooper and I managed to escape. We were both uneasy. She argued with me and she left when we arrived at my apartment. No even 2 days later I'm arrested for 1st degree aggravated kidnapping.

 

Cooper testified against me at trial and said I kidnapped her and also that she had secretly been having a relationship with Gauthier during our relationship. They were still together at my trial. In hindsight it makes sense now why she never got a restraining order against or called the police on him.

 

To make matter worse, the police testified that I reached for a gun and resisted arrest. There was no body camera footage to disprove this. They also brought in an ex girlfriend of mine who previously accused me of kidnapping. Her complaint was that I drove her to my house and she didn't want to go. Her claims were unfounded and were dismissed. She has a history of making false allegations against people. After she learned that my charges would be dismissed, she went back to make more false claims which obviously did not work.


My attorneys advised me to not testify and at trial the prosecutor wanted to prevent all information about Gautier's abuse from being mentioned unless I testified. Both of my attorneys argued against this. One of my attorneys, Ver Weire, said to the Court that Cooper "openly told not just Justin but other people that [Gauthier] was abusive to her, her kids, her dog... If Justin thinks he's acting because he is trying to save someone or because someone has been abused and may be held against their will, that's something that they have to prove that he didn't do it." My other attorney, McDermott, said to the Court "that just goes to show what Justin may have been thinking when [Cooper] goes to dinner with his grandparents one night and then disappears from communication the next. And I'm not going to go into did he beat her, did he beat her children, what kind of abuse it was... There are text messages between the victim and other people saying similar things that she said to my client."


The judge ruled that I had to testify in order to raise any of this. So the jury and the Court would never hear my side or learn of Gauthier's abuse and that I tried to protect Cooper. I was facing 1st degree of 5-99 years if convicted but my attorneys told me that legally I could only be convicted of a 3rd degree of 2-10 years but their argument required me to not testify. I contested this because I wanted choose my defense and to testify to defend myself because I am innocent and I was only trying to protect her because I thought she was in imminent danger. At one point I asked the judge for a new attorney but I was denied. Despite all of this my attorneys disagreed with my defense and convinced me to remain silent under the advice that the most I would get is 10 years. I was found guilty and sentenced to LIFE in prison.


I filed an appeal against my attorneys for their misadvice and one of my attorneys, McDermott, lied under oath in his response to my claims (attorneys typically do not want to he found "ineffective"). He said I was previously convicted of kidnapping in an earlier case and that there was no evidence of Gauthier's abuse. I provided the Court with indisputable proof that the previous allegation was dismissed and multiple documents from the trial record showing that there was evidence of his abuse including multiple conversations between my attorneys, the prosecutor, and the judge about the abuse when they decided that we could not raise it.

 

I subsequently filed a criminal complaint against McDermott to the Williamsom County District Attorney for aggravated perjury, a 3rd degree felony, and a complaint to the Texas State Bar where he is licensed. Despite the clear and convincing proof both the District Attorney and State Bar dismissed my complaints. It's clear that in Texas there is no accountability or integrity in its criminal judicial system and that attorneys may act with impunity.

 

There are things at my trial that do not make sense. Cooper claims she escaped but given the fact that I'm bigger than her, had a gun, and was allegedly in the middle of committing a crime, why would someone just let her go and abandon a crime and not give chase? Why was I found at my apartment going about my normal business? I did not flee. If I allegedly reached for a gun while 10+ police officers had guns drawn on me, why was I not shot? The police said I resisted arrest but then contradict themselves when they said that I was cooperative and volunteered to give them evidence and willingly spoke to detectives.


Cooper never gave me any reason to believe that she was untrustworthy but she testified that she was secretly cheating on me with Gauthier during our relationship. To me, if someone is unfaithful then that should perhaps damage their credibility. Cooper knew about the prior kidnapping accusation and maybe it's possible that she saw an opportunity to use that against me when I came to help her. She previously confessed to me that she had a prior drug addiction and that Gauthier had used as well. She admitted at trial to drinking that night as well. Could that have impaired her judgment?

 

Of course there is also the ever remaining possibility that perhaps in her mind, she did actually believe that she was kidnapped and that my conclusion was incorrect. I've never told her about my experience with abuse or my anxiety so she could not have known that I'd come looking for her. The knowledge I had about Gauthier's history, my own experiences, and my anxiety collectively cultivated my overwhelming fear that she was in danger. That is all I could rationalize at that time. In retrospect I should have done nothing obviously, but I cannot go back to change my state of mind. 

 

Of course if it is true that she believed she was kidnapped, then I am forever in a state of regret. The harm that was caused to me as a kid that I would never wish upon anyone, I have indirectly caused some else and if true, that is a hard pill to swallow. Although my intent was to help was sincere, it may have had a negative effect upon someone else. Personally, this makes me feel victimized once more but to another degree. Not by Cooper, but by my abuser who contributed to my state of mind and by Gauthier because if it was not but for his abuse, I would never have come to such a conclusion that led to these events. The problem with abuse is that no matter the form or whom it's directly inflicted upon, it can indirectly effect others just as much as the intended victim. Such is the case here.


Now I must proceed with an appeal to the Federal courts where I may stand a better chance because of the facts. The problem is that I cannot afford an attorney to level the playing field. If my case is overturned I will have a second chance at justice and this time, to tell my story. In order for the state to convict me, they must prove that my intent was to commit a crime however, my intent was to save someone.

 

Justice requires more than just myself. My fate is now intertwined with all of the other wrongfully convicted people in Texas and Williamson County. I must somehow retain an attorney for my federal appeal as well as trial if I overturn my conviction.


With support from the public and the media I could very well be successful.


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Kontakt / Contact

Danke für's Absenden!

Beitrag: Kontakt
Untitled

Der erste Brief / The first letter 


Was schreibt man als erstes an einen Häftling? Komischerweise, hatte ich keine Probleme die passenden Worte zu finden. Einfach alles fühlte sich ganz natürlich an, als würde ich seine Seele schon sehr lange kennen. (Nein, nicht im romantischen Sinne.) Ich spürte einfach eine tiefe Verbundenheit. Bei einem Verbündeten stellt sich die Frage nicht, welche Themen angebracht sind. Mein erster Brief an ihn war 10 Seiten lang. Ich musste mich quasi bremsen, denn an Ideen mangelte es nicht. Ich erzählte ihm über Intuition, wie ich ihn gefunden habe, über die Macht der Gedanken. Meine Träume und Wünsche. Einfach alles, was mir auf der Seele lag und wovon ich genau wusste, dass er weiß wovon ich rede. Eine Woche habe ich gebraucht um zu überlegen, ob ich das wirklich möchte. Man hört schließlich von Gefahren und Warnungen was solche Brieffreundschaften betrifft. Aber wie kann ich meiner Intuition eine Abfuhr erteilen? Garnicht, ganz genau! Also ab zur Post damit. 22 Tage habe ich gewartet... Dann war sie da, seine Antwort. Nicht nur die Antwort auf meinen Brief, sondern auch die Antwort auf meine Intuition. Auf 14 Seiten schrieb er genauso, wie ich es gehofft hatte. Das ist die Seele, die ich schon kenne. Kein Zweifel. 



What is the first thing you write to a prisoner? Strangely enough, I had no trouble finding the right words. Just everything felt natural, as if I had known his soul for a very long time. (No, not in the romantic sense.) I just felt a deep connection. With an ally, there is no question about what topics are appropriate. My first letter to him was 10 pages long. I had to sort of slow myself down, because there was no shortage of ideas. I told him about intuition, how I found it, about the power of thoughts. My dreams and wishes. Just everything that was on my mind and that I knew he knew what I was talking about. It took me a week to think about whether I really wanted this. After all, one hears of dangers and warnings concerning such pen pals. But how can I refuse my intuition? Not at all, exactly! So off to the post office with it. 22 days I waited... Then there it was, his answer. Not only the answer to my letter, but also the answer to my intuition. On 14 pages he wrote exactly as I had hoped. This is the soul I already know. No doubt about it.

Die Anfänge / The beginnings

2022, nach einem wundervoll inspirierendem Abend bei einer Freundin, folgte ich meiner Intuition auf der Suche nach... Ja, nach was eigentlich? Das wusste ich zu diesem Zeitpunkt noch nicht. Ich vertraute meiner inneren Stimme und ließ mich einfach leiten. In den Tiefen weiten des Internets, durchforstete ich Seiten nach Schreibutensilien. Ich liebe alte Füllfederhalter, Kugelschreiber, schönes Papier und tolle Briefumschläge. Stundenlang sah ich mir antike Füller an, las Poesie und Kurzgeschichten, bis ich auf einer Seite für Brieffreundschaften landete. Ich dachte mir, es sei nett, mal wieder etwas anderes in meinem Briefkasten zu finden, als Rechnungen. Irgendwie spürte ich jedoch, dass dies nicht das ist, wonach ich "gesucht" habe. Durch Zufall stieß ich dann auf eine Seite names "Wire of Hope". Es hat ein paar Minuten gedauert, bis ich begriffen habe worum es eigentlich ging. Es ist eine wundervolle Seite, die US-Häftlinge vorstellt, welche auf der Suche nach Brieffreundschaften sind. Zugegeben, hatte auch ich ein paar Vorurteile und dachte mir "Naja, Brieffreunde suchen die sicherlich nicht". Trotzdem hat meine Neugierde gesiegt und ich sah mir ein paar Profile von Insassen an. Was habe ich überhaupt erwartet? Ich weiß es nicht! Die ersten drei Profile waren, mehr oder weniger,  genau das, was ich vermutet hatte. Eben Männer auf der Suche nach etwas, vorzugsweise weiblicher, Ablenkung. Wer kann es ihnen verübeln? Das vierte Inserat las sich jedoch anders. Ich erinnere mich genau an dessen Anfang "Perspective defines individuality. Individuality changes with new perspective. Let us evolve our individualism and share our perspectives. I welcome a conversation with an open mind... " Und da war es, dieses besondere Gefühl. Meine Intuition führte mich nicht zu etwas, sondern zu Jemandem! Justin. 
In 2022, after a wonderfully inspiring evening at a friend's house, I followed my intuition in search of.... Yes, for what actually? I didn't know that at the time. I trusted my inner voice and simply let myself be guided. In the depths of the Internet, I searched pages for writing utensils. I love old fountain pens, ballpoint pens, beautiful paper and great envelopes. I spent hours looking at antique fountain pens, reading poetry and short stories, until I landed on a site for pen pals. I thought it would be nice to find something other than bills in my mailbox. Somehow, however, I felt that this was not what I was "looking" for. By chance I came across a site called "Wire of Hope". It took me a few minutes to realize what it was all about. It is a wonderful site that features US prisoners who are looking for pen pals. Admittedly, I too had some preconceptions and thought to myself "well, they certainly aren't looking for pen pals". Nevertheless, my curiosity won out and I looked at a few profiles of inmates. What was I expecting to find anyway? I don't know! The first three profiles were, more or less, exactly what I had suspected. Just men looking for some, preferably female, distraction. Who can blame them? The fourth ad, however, read differently. I remember exactly how it began: "Perspective defines individuality. Individuality changes with new perspective. Let us evolve our individualism and share our perspectives. I welcome a conversation with an open mind... "And there it was, this special feeling. My intuition led me not to something, but to Someone! Justin.

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