During my childhood I attended private Catholic schools and subsequently became a victim of childhood abuse. This occurred at an early age and the moral weight fell from my abuser and landed upon my shoulders. I've been forced to carry this horrific mass throughout my life and I swore myself to secrecy.
In 2007 my mother passed away unexpectedly and in 2013 I lost my father. The dark secret I carried, the hidden resentment towards my family for not protecting me which I now know is not their fault, the fear of not being believed or being blamed for its causation, the trouble it would cause, the humiliation... I lost my chance to tell them. The most important relationships in my life suffered. This entire nexus dramatically altered my perspective.
I never planned to share this with anyone, yet now I'm forced to tell my story and relive the memories. This is because I have a deep seeded resentment towards abuse and oppression due to my experience. I've developed hypersensitivity, anxiety, and PTSD. This is all relevant to what led to my incarceration.
The following is in my own words. Some information was communicated to me personally. First names have been withheld out of respect for privacy.
In September 2016 I dated a girl named Cooper who had previously been in an abusive relationship with her ex fiancé, Gauthier. She expressed to me that she and her 2 children experienced verbal abuse and physical violence. I watched a video on her phone that showed Gauthier calling her profanities and throwing things at her as well as listened to disturbing voice mails left by him. One assault ultimately led to their separation when Gauthier almost caused her to crash her vehicle while driving with 4 children in the back. When she moved she had to leave her dog behind so Gauthier purposely starved her dog to force Cooper to come to his home just so he could see her. Cooper also told me that she was concerned that Gauthier may have been sexually abusing one of his daughters. All of this struck me personally and I could sympathize for all of them.
Cooper kept on relationship a secret from Gauthier due to his possessiveness until he was able to gain access to her Facebook account. She took down all of our photos together and my posts out of fear. Not long after this Cooper disappeared from communication after telling me she had to visit Gauthier's home. I feared for her safety and went looking for her.
When I went to his home, he attacked me when I inquired about Cooper's safety. I drew a handgun in self-defense and Cooper and I managed to escape. We were both uneasy. She argued with me and she left when we arrived at my apartment. No even 2 days later I'm arrested for 1st degree aggravated kidnapping.
Cooper testified against me at trial and said I kidnapped her and also that she had secretly been having a relationship with Gauthier during our relationship. They were still together at my trial. In hindsight it makes sense now why she never got a restraining order against or called the police on him.
To make matter worse, the police testified that I reached for a gun and resisted arrest. There was no body camera footage to disprove this. They also brought in an ex girlfriend of mine who previously accused me of kidnapping. Her complaint was that I drove her to my house and she didn't want to go. Her claims were unfounded and were dismissed. She has a history of making false allegations against people. After she learned that my charges would be dismissed, she went back to make more false claims which obviously did not work.
My attorneys advised me to not testify and at trial the prosecutor wanted to prevent all information about Gautier's abuse from being mentioned unless I testified. Both of my attorneys argued against this. One of my attorneys, Ver Weire, said to the Court that Cooper "openly told not just Justin but other people that [Gauthier] was abusive to her, her kids, her dog... If Justin thinks he's acting because he is trying to save someone or because someone has been abused and may be held against their will, that's something that they have to prove that he didn't do it." My other attorney, McDermott, said to the Court "that just goes to show what Justin may have been thinking when [Cooper] goes to dinner with his grandparents one night and then disappears from communication the next. And I'm not going to go into did he beat her, did he beat her children, what kind of abuse it was... There are text messages between the victim and other people saying similar things that she said to my client."
The judge ruled that I had to testify in order to raise any of this. So the jury and the Court would never hear my side or learn of Gauthier's abuse and that I tried to protect Cooper. I was facing 1st degree of 5-99 years if convicted but my attorneys told me that legally I could only be convicted of a 3rd degree of 2-10 years but their argument required me to not testify. I contested this because I wanted choose my defense and to testify to defend myself because I am innocent and I was only trying to protect her because I thought she was in imminent danger. At one point I asked the judge for a new attorney but I was denied. Despite all of this my attorneys disagreed with my defense and convinced me to remain silent under the advice that the most I would get is 10 years. I was found guilty and sentenced to LIFE in prison.
I filed an appeal against my attorneys for their misadvice and one of my attorneys, McDermott, lied under oath in his response to my claims (attorneys typically do not want to he found "ineffective"). He said I was previously convicted of kidnapping in an earlier case and that there was no evidence of Gauthier's abuse. I provided the Court with indisputable proof that the previous allegation was dismissed and multiple documents from the trial record showing that there was evidence of his abuse including multiple conversations between my attorneys, the prosecutor, and the judge about the abuse when they decided that we could not raise it.
I subsequently filed a criminal complaint against McDermott to the Williamsom County District Attorney for aggravated perjury, a 3rd degree felony, and a complaint to the Texas State Bar where he is licensed. Despite the clear and convincing proof both the District Attorney and State Bar dismissed my complaints. It's clear that in Texas there is no accountability or integrity in its criminal judicial system and that attorneys may act with impunity.
There are things at my trial that do not make sense. Cooper claims she escaped but given the fact that I'm bigger than her, had a gun, and was allegedly in the middle of committing a crime, why would someone just let her go and abandon a crime and not give chase? Why was I found at my apartment going about my normal business? I did not flee. If I allegedly reached for a gun while 10+ police officers had guns drawn on me, why was I not shot? The police said I resisted arrest but then contradict themselves when they said that I was cooperative and volunteered to give them evidence and willingly spoke to detectives.
Cooper never gave me any reason to believe that she was untrustworthy but she testified that she was secretly cheating on me with Gauthier during our relationship. To me, if someone is unfaithful then that should perhaps damage their credibility. Cooper knew about the prior kidnapping accusation and maybe it's possible that she saw an opportunity to use that against me when I came to help her. She previously confessed to me that she had a prior drug addiction and that Gauthier had used as well. She admitted at trial to drinking that night as well. Could that have impaired her judgment?
Of course there is also the ever remaining possibility that perhaps in her mind, she did actually believe that she was kidnapped and that my conclusion was incorrect. I've never told her about my experience with abuse or my anxiety so she could not have known that I'd come looking for her. The knowledge I had about Gauthier's history, my own experiences, and my anxiety collectively cultivated my overwhelming fear that she was in danger. That is all I could rationalize at that time. In retrospect I should have done nothing obviously, but I cannot go back to change my state of mind.
Of course if it is true that she believed she was kidnapped, then I am forever in a state of regret. The harm that was caused to me as a kid that I would never wish upon anyone, I have indirectly caused some else and if true, that is a hard pill to swallow. Although my intent was to help was sincere, it may have had a negative effect upon someone else. Personally, this makes me feel victimized once more but to another degree. Not by Cooper, but by my abuser who contributed to my state of mind and by Gauthier because if it was not but for his abuse, I would never have come to such a conclusion that led to these events. The problem with abuse is that no matter the form or whom it's directly inflicted upon, it can indirectly effect others just as much as the intended victim. Such is the case here.
Now I must proceed with an appeal to the Federal courts where I may stand a better chance because of the facts. The problem is that I cannot afford an attorney to level the playing field. If my case is overturned I will have a second chance at justice and this time, to tell my story. In order for the state to convict me, they must prove that my intent was to commit a crime however, my intent was to save someone.
Justice requires more than just myself. My fate is now intertwined with all of the other wrongfully convicted people in Texas and Williamson County. I must somehow retain an attorney for my federal appeal as well as trial if I overturn my conviction.
With support from the public and the media I could very well be successful.
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